The Note
by Bookkbaby
Summary: BxR. YAOI. Ryou tries to kill himself, only to be rescued by a most unlikely person. Perhaps it was because of the note Ryou left behind, and what he revealed in it...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own- all characters belong to Kazuki Takahashi. I am merely borrowing them for the fun of it!

Warnings: Attempted suicide, self-harm, angst, YAOI! Boy on boy stuff here! I think that's it… Please enjoy!

Note: I refer to Ryou Bakura as Ryou, and I refer to Yami Bakura as Bakura.

The Note

Shaking, pale hands gently folded a thin piece of white paper. Pure white teeth gently worried a pale pink lower lip as slender fingers began writing a name on the outside of the small note.

Soft white hair, usually so bright, seemed limp and lifeless. Chocolate eyes, usually so full of sparkle and warmth, had finally lost those last traces of life. While his heart did still beat, he felt empty. It was less a feeling of nothingness and more like a vacuum, where any emotion he was lucky enough to fell quickly slipped through his fingers.

Ryou placed the letter on the kitchen table. Various other versions of the note lay scattered around his small workstation, some smudged by tears and others ruined because his hands couldn't seem to stop shaking. Pushing himself back in his chair, he stood. He collected every alternate version of the letter he had just written, tossing each and every one into the trash can.

All he would need was the final note- it said all that he knew was needed.

A slight spark of warmth entered the tired chocolate eyes, but that spark was quickly snuffed out.

"Goodbye." Ryou whispered to himself, turning away from the clean, white-tiled room. His feet seemed unusually heavy, but it was a detached heaviness- his body could have been replaced with a Ryou-sized piece of lead, and he would barely have noticed. Very soon, what would it matter anyway?

'Bakura's gone out with Mariku and Malik tonight. I don't think he'll be home anytime soon.'

The thought was oddly depressing, yet somehow comforting. It shouldn't have been able to accomplish both things at once, but the fact that Ryou was completely alone and would be for some time was both a comfort and a depressant.

On one hand, no one would be here to stop him and talk sense into him. Oh, how he would love to listen to sense- problem was, no one was here to try and reason with him, and that loneliness fueled his actions. It was incredibly complex, but Ryou had long since stopped trying to understand how his mind worked.

On the other hand...

If he wanted to stop sometime in the middle- if he chickened out and froze- then what would he do if he didn't have the strength to call for help? Of course, were someone here in the first place, Ryou would like to think that he wouldn't be in a position to have to call for help.

He slowly ascended the stairs, a numb feeling settling into the pit of his stomach.

This was it. He was actually going to do it, after so many plans and so many attempts that had failed before they had even begun... after stopping himself for fear, he had finally cracked and was no longer going to stop. What reason did he have now, to continue like this?

As he reached the top of the stairs, he paused for just a moment. He glanced back down the carpeted steps, eyes dim and unreadable.

Even though he couldn't see it, he could almost feel the letter sitting on the table as it waited for a certain someone to come home.

Ryou moved his gaze to his feet, biting his lip.

It wasn't worth it.

He stepped forward again, moving towards a small room just a few feet down the hallway the stairs had led him to. A light shone from the edges of the wooden door, just slightly ajar. He pushed it open, blinking rapidly- from the light, or so he told himself- as he glanced around.

Everything- though it wouldn't require much- was set up. Everything was settled, and he was ready.

His eyes trailed over the white marble counter, skirting over a small knife placed casually on top, silver blade gleaming in the harsh bathroom light. The cold tiles under his feet were all white, as well as the paint. In fact, everything- down to the towels that hung on a rack next to the combination shower/bathtub were pure white.

Hands shaking again, Ryou lifted his fingers to the dark blue button up shirt he had worn that day. One by one, clumsy fingers undid the row of buttons, pale shoulders shrugging the material off his body.

Eyes blank, he lifted his bared arms to study them.

Lines even paler than his skin crossed up and down his arms, memories of pain long since passed but still haunting. Without looking, he knew his chest- goosebumps raising on his flesh in the cold- was also partially covered in scars. His arms had been his favorite place to cut, however, so his chest was relatively undamaged.

He took a deep breath, reaching a hand out for the knife. He gripped the handle, looking at it one last time.

It was a masterpiece- he knew that much. The hilt of the dagger was in a sort of yin-yang pattern, one half of it white, the other half of it black with a small spot of the opposite color at the very top. A thin line of silver, the metal branching out at the bottom to form the guard, divided the two colors. The blade itself was about as long as his hand was, if you included his fingers.

It wasn't his knife- he didn't own any- but it did belong to his darker half. It seemed to represent them so well. Even though Ryou knew his yami would be angry with him for borrowing the knife, Ryou hadn't been able to resist using the pretty blade instead of the ordinary kitchen knife he usually used.

It just... felt right.

Still staring at the weapon, Ryou took a few small steps forward, placing the knife down next to him as he knelt next to the small bathtub. Body shaking and shivering, he turned his gaze to the water knobs.

Swallowing heavily, he reached out a hand. Fear began overwhelming his senses- fear of what would happen if he succeeded, if he failed. Fear of what he would do to himself. Fear of what others would say.

His vision slowly clouded over, the world swimming as his hand tried and failed to grasp the knob to release water. Blinking rapidly and only vaguely noticing the tears rolling down his cheeks, he tried again.

The metal felt cold under his palm, the feel of it hardening his resolve.

He had already decided upon this. He couldn't go back now- not when he had come this far. Grasping the metal knob tightly, he turned it.

Water roared out of the spigot, hitting the plastic floor of the tub hard and slowly spreading to fill it up. Ryou had placed the stopper in the drain before he had composed his note.

Coolly detached, he turned his eyes to his knife. As though in a trance, he picked it up and brought it to one of his scarred arms.

He noted that the metal seemed colder than the knife he usually used as he drew it deeply across his wrist. The pain still burned the same, but it was as if the pain belonged to another body.

Bright crimson followed the blade. He watched it in fascination for a moment, before drawing the blade across that same flesh again, cutting deeper than before at a different angle, watching the blood pour down his forearm and spill upwards to collect in his palm. The bright color spilled through his fingers, warm crimson drops staining the floor he knelt on.

Eyes watering again, Ryou transferred the blade to his bloody hand, the liquid making him almost drop the knife. He tightened his grip on it, drawing the sharp edge across his other wrist.

Red rose on white skin.

Bile rising in his throat, he drew it across again. Again.

Crimson waves spilled from his veins, blood gushing from already scarred skin. The knife slipped from his fingers- barely able to see for tears and blood loss, Ryou blindly leaned forward and turned the water off before pushing the damaged skin under the surface of the water. The water around his wrists turned pink, the color slowly darkening and spreading as he leaned forward to rest his suddenly heavy body against the side of the tub.

He closed his eyes, the world fading away. He could hear something loud and wooden behind him shatter, but it seemed to belong to some sort of dream.

The last thing he felt before blacking out were two strong arms grabbing his waist and pulling him back.

SKIP!

Bakura walked into the house he shared with Ryou, a scowl plastered across his face- one even darker than usual.

'Those bastards.' he growled mentally, taking off his jacket and throwing it somewhere on the floor before kicking his shoes off. Ryou would pick it up later.

He walked into the kitchen from the small entranceway, going directly to the fridge. Had he stuck with Mariku and Malik- or 'those bastards'- he knew he could have gotten something alcoholic, but he didn't want to even look at those two psychos for a while.

'Just because Mariku decided it was okay to fuck his hikari doesn't mean all yamis want that.' he told himself, shoving the door of the fridge closed in disgust when he couldn't find anything decent to drink. 'Yadonushi means nothing to me. Nothing! It's not their place to say otherwise.'

Mariku and Malik had been together for a month now, and were more than happy to let anyone and his brother know it. The Pharaoh had even gotten together with his brat- the only one that hadn't become romantically involved with his light was Bakura.

Not that he wanted to.

'How dare they even SUGGEST I feel anything but contempt for him! He's a pathetic weakling, barely good enough to be my slave. Beside that,' Bakura's hand tightened on the fridge handle, the knuckles going white as he glared at his reflection. '- Ryou would never feel anything but hatred for me.'

He turned from the fridge, scowl darkening. For a bit more than a month, all of his little outings with the Egyptian duo had ended exactly like this, with the white-haired Thief King coming home angry and frustrated. Jealous as well, but he would prefer to pretend he was not.

He also preferred to believe that- just because he imagined himself and his hikari kissing whenever he saw the two psychos swapping spit- he wasn't in love with his light. Just because he would stare at the moon for ages on end every night before going to sleep- it reminded him of Ryou's silky hair- didn't mean he felt anything for his hikari. It wasn't as if he protected his hikari because of any feelings for the delicate white-haired teen, despite the fact he no longer needed Ryou alive to live himself.

He folded his arms across his chest, intending to stomp up to his room. As he passed the table, he paused.

A small note was there, with 'Bakura' written across the front in Ryou's neat handwriting. Bakura's black look darkened, snatching the note from the table and opening it up.

'He's probably not fucking home.' Bakura thought, crimson eyes beginning a bored scan of the note.

''Bakura-'' it read- as if he didn't already know it was addressed to him.

''First off, I would like to say I'm sorry. I know you don't like me, and that the fact I'm your hikari and such a weakling angers you.''

Confused, the yami's glare faded from his face as he continued to read, an uneasy feeling growing in the back of his mind.

''I wanted to remember to apologize, but I can't apologize to your face. I know you probably wouldn't, since I'm not very important to anyone, but I didn't want you asking why I'm apologizing for this now. I was afraid I would answer you.''

Something wet had smudged the paper slightly here, but the words were still easy to read.

''I've never been very good at lying, have I? I didn't want you to know, even though I knew it would be you who would find me.''

Dread and confusion both multiplied, a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. This sounded a lot like- but no, Ryou was happy, wasn't he? He wouldn't, he would never...

''I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry for being so weak. I'm sorry for being a burden. I'm sorry for borrowing one of your knives. I also want to beg you not to hate me, but I can't stay here any longer.''

Eyes wide, a trance seemed to come over him and he kept reading, the word 'knife' reverberating through his skull.

''I also want to apologize for what I'm about to say.''

Bakura clenched his free hand tightly, the sharp crescents of his nails digging into his soft palm.

''I love you. I always have. I just wanted to let you know that- I've always wanted to tell you, but I was so worried you'd laugh at my feelings or hate me more for them.''

Tearstains dotted the paper, but the writing was clear. Shock ran through his body, lips parting slightly as Bakura's mind tried to come up with a response to the words written before him.

''I know you don't feel the same, and I know I would never be able to tell you face to face. I couldn't die without telling you though. Please also- if you feel any guilt- it was never your fault. Not entirely. It was me and me alone- it's my fault for everything.''

Cold certainty of what this note meant shot through him, but still he could not stop reading. Only two things stayed in his head.

'My hikari loves me.' was one.

'He's going to kill himself.' was the other.

''I love you- I wish I could have said it to your face just once. Sayonara, Bakura.''

Bakura's numb fingers dropped the note, his light's signature staring innocently up at him.

His body was frozen as his mind tried to process what he had just read, denial instantly springing into being.

There was just no way Ryou-

He had no reason to-

Distantly, he heard water turn on somewhere above him.

''I'm sorry for borrowing one of your knives.''

Ryou's words rang through his mind.

''...I can't stay here any longer.''

He turned, body springing into action even though he felt as if he moved in slow motion.

''...it was never your fault.''

'Of course it's my fault- how the hell did I not notice?! I'm supposed to protect you! How did I let this happen?!'

His stocking feet slid across the wooden floor, but he ignored the small slips. He ran up the stairs, crimson eyes narrowed determinedly even as dread bloomed anew in his heart as he heard the water turn off.

''I love you- I wish I could have said it to your face just once.''

"Damnit!" he swore to himself, turning the corner at the top of the stairs to move down the hallway. The door was just feet from him as he stumbled and almost fell reaching for it.

Not bothering with the handle- the door was probably locked- he threw himself at it. It cracked, breaking off the flimsy hinges as soon as he hit it a second time.

''Sayonara, Bakura.''

The door hit the wall with a loud 'crack', Bakura barely noting the sound as he leapt forward. He grabbed his hikari around the waist, pulling Ryou back against his body.

Something akin to fear pumped through his blood at just how pale his hikari was, and just how red the water was in the bathtub. The white-haired teen's head lolled back, blood sluggishly moving out of his cuts. He still breathed, and his heart still beat, but that wouldn't last very much longer.

"No- don't you dare." Bakura mumbled, mostly to himself as he placed Ryou's body on the floor, quickly ripping strips of cloth from his shirt and bandaging his hikari's wrists.

There is no way that his amateur skills were enough. He had treated his own wounds enough times back in Egypt, but he had never lost so much blood.

From there, his memory became a blur.

He picked his hikari up again, fleeing the bathroom.

He knew Ryou had often used a 'fone' or something and that there was some sort of emergency number, but he didn't know how to operate that idiotic piece of modern technology. Domino Hospital wasn't far- only a few blocks.

He passed by his shoes and coat, knowing it was a race against time with the odds highly against him. He quickly opened the door, bursting through it and not bothering to close it as he ran as if Anubis were directly behind him.

Nothing existed for him beyond the boy in his arms- not even the pain as his feet slapped the pavement, his socks doing little to dull the sharp sting. He could feel something warm and wet soaking through his shirt- the bandages weren't holding very well, and he didn't even need to look down to know his blue and white striped shirt was being stained the same crimson color of his eyes.

His felt his breath heave in and out of his chest as his lungs and legs screamed at him, but did not let his pace slacken. He could hear the angry honking of horns as he ran into the street, as well as the scream of brakes as people tried to avoid hitting him.

It was only three minutes later when he reached Domino Hospital, painfully aware that every second was vital with Ryou so fragile. He burst through the doors, breath heavy as he panted, arms and legs tired from running with so much extra weight.

A female nurse came up to him quickly, blue eyes widening as she caught sight of Ryou.

"I need you to help him now. He's lost a lot of blood." he ordered. "Go get a damn doctor!"

The nurse didn't seem to care about his attitude, yelling something over her shoulder and grabbing Bakura's arm to pull him quickly towards a hallway. He followed without complaint, even though her grip hurt.

A long white bed on a cart with wheels at the bottom came towards them, two large male nurses pushing it. One of them left the cart, taking Ryou from Bakura's arms and laying him on the bed. The three nurses headed down the hallway again, but when Bakura tried to follow, he was refused. He could recall answering a few questions about who Ryou was and what had happened, but the memories were fuzzy, vague and unimportant.

From there, his memory faded, the last sight he could recall the view of his hikari and the three hospital workers disappearing behind a large set of swinging double doors.

TBC…

And that's the end of Chapter 1! There are two more to come- please stay tuned! Feedback appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own- all characters belong to Kazuki Takahashi. I am merely borrowing them for the fun of it!

Warnings: Attempted suicide, self-harm, angst, YAOI! Boy on boy stuff here! I think that's it… Please enjoy!

Note: I refer to Ryou Bakura as Ryou, and I refer to Yami Bakura as Bakura.

This chapter is a bit shorter than the previous one, but…. I hope you enjoy anyway?

Hopefully this story is doing OK so far- I just wrote this in a few days and didn't really get anyone to check it over. Any mistakes are mine! (On the other hand, anything done well is all me too!)

I also hope (that's my new favorite word, I guess!) that the story isn't moving too fast. I know I probably should have had more description on some things I kind of skimped on, but I honestly didn't feel like writing them out.

Whoa- sorry, been rambling! Enjoy!

The Note- Chapter 2

Chocolate eyes slowly blinked open, betraying their owner's confusion as he stared at the ceiling.

'Where am I?' he wondered. He could feel a soft mattress beneath his body, but he was just so tired...

"Ryou?"

He turned his head towards the soft, unsure voice, eyes widening at the sight.

Little Yugi stood by his bedside, dark purple eyes showing his concern as one hand was frozen in the act of reaching for him. Behind him stood Yami, eyes also concerned. Tea, Tristan, Joey- even Serenity, Duke, and Mokuba!- were there too. Kaiba wasn't in the room, but if Mokuba was here Kaiba probably wasn't very far away. Tea, Serenity, Yugi, and Mokuba all had puffy eyes, as though they'd been crying. The others looked sad, as though they'd been holding back tears.

"What's going on?" Ryou croaked, voice weak. The effort it took to speak was enormous, and as memories came back Ryou could feel water gather in his eyes again.

He looked away from his friends.

"We heard what happened, and came straight here." Yugi told him, voice soft and small. "We were so worried about you Ryou! I- I just couldn't believe it-"

Ryou shut his eyes tightly as he heard sniffling in the background, followed by a comforting murmur that had probably come from Yami.

"Is there anything we can do for you, Ryou? We can help you get through this." It was Tea who spoke, voice dripping with genuine concern and worry.

Ryou bit his lip lightly, worrying it slightly between his teeth.

"Anything you need, name it, and Joey Wheeler will get it for you!" Joey proclaimed, attempting some of his usual cheer and failing miserably. Ryou opened his mouth to voice his request.

"I would like..."

His voice trailed off, mouth dry. He swallowed around the lump rising in his throat.

"Yeah?" Tristan prodded gently, after silence had stretched for almost a full minute.

"I would like you all to leave."

A shocked silence followed his words, but Ryou didn't turn his head.

"But- but why?" Mokuba.

"We're your friends- can't we at least help a little?" Tea.

Ryou shook his head, not quite trusting his voice.

"But-" Yugi.

"Please, just go." Ryou whispered, the almost inaudible sound somehow traveling through the room.

It was several minutes before Ryou heard any movement.

"Let's go, aibou. We'll come back tomorrow." It was Yami who spoke, sounding reluctant to go but realizing they would get no more out of Ryou that day.

One by one, the white-haired teen heard his friends shuffle out of the room, the door closing softly behind them.

He looked around the room.

It was white, just as dull and impersonal as all hospital rooms. Looking down at himself, he could see his clothes had been replaced with an ugly green hospital gown. His arms had been bandaged from his wrists to halfway down his forearms, and then bound to the sides of the bed- probably to prevent him from hurting himself again.

A blanket covered him up to his chest- almost to his neck, draped gently over his body. Currently, he lay in an almost flat reclining position, a pillow behind his head.

Glancing to his other side, he saw a bouquet of flowers- a get-well gift from his friends. There was only one, but the flowers were very pretty. A card sat next to it- both were probably last-minute items bought, since, as Yugi had said, they had 'come straight here'.

It was the thought that counted anyway.

Ryou relaxed back onto the bed, returning his gaze to the ceiling.

Quietly, he heard the door open again. A small 'clack' was heard as someone approached his bed.

He glanced over at the person, not particularly surprised to see a nurse.

"Hello dear. My name is Tsuni- I'll be in charge of your care while you're with us." She smiled thinly at him. "I noticed you had visitors, but they all left just a short time ago."

"Yes, I know." Ryou looked back up at the ceiling, too tired to put much effort into politeness. "Would you be so kind as to keep visitors from my room for a few days? I- I don't think I can talk to them just yet."

"All right, but only for a few days." Nurse Tsuni agreed. "It would be better overall for you to keep in touch with them while in here, but if you don't want to see anyone that can be arranged."

Ryou nodded.

"Thank you."

"Anything else you need, dear?"

Ryou was about to shake his head when his stomach growled. Tsuni smiled.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'. Please make yourself comfortable- I'll be right back." She turned and left.

Sighing, Ryou relaxed as much as he could.

'What happened?' He could remember the knife, the cuts, and all the blood... He could remember putting his wrists under the water, and then...

A loud 'crack' he had decided must have been the door, and two strong arms. There, the memory ended.

'Who brought me here?'

Ryou ate his food quietly, nose scrunching up at the taste. He had been given miso soup, rice, and some Western dessert called 'Jell-O' that tasted vaguely like a watermelon. He had only a spoon to eat with, since anything else had been deemed too sharp for him to eat with.

His hands had been untied so he could eat, but Tsuni sat with him while he did so- a guard.

She had been chatty, keeping conversation light and trying to 'get to know him better' in an attempt to make his stay more pleasant.

"So- anything you have a question about?" she asked. Ryou nodded slowly, chewing his rice and swallowing before speaking.

"Who brought me here?"

"Your brother did."

Ryou's confusion must have shown, for she continued.

"A bit taller than you, but his hair was the same color. It was a lot spikier than yours, and his eyes were red."

"Oh." Ryou put down his spoon, suddenly not hungry. He stared down at his tray, then slowly pushed it away from himself. "I think I'm done. Would it be all right if I took a little nap?"

Tsuni nodded, taking his tray.

"You need your rest- don't mind it if I come in a few more times to check on you. Today's probably been very tiring for you, correct?"

Ryou nodded, not even fighting as she gently gripped his wrists in turn and tied them back to the sides of the bed.

She left, taking his tray with her and leaving the door open only a tiny crack. As she exited the room, she shut off the lights.

Ryou closed his eyes, exhaustion taking him over.

'Bakura brought me here- but why? How?'

It just didn't make any sense.

A small tendril of fear curled through him- even though he knew Bakura would probably be the one to find him if he had succeeded, it was terrifying to had tried and failed. Ryou hadn't thought he would have to face Bakura, and after what he had revealed in his note...

Swallowing thickly, he allowed sleep to carry him off.

SKIP!

It was dark in the house- completely, but for the moon shining in the windows.

Bakura sat on his hikari's bed, the note clenched in his hands.

He had gotten back to the house hours ago, only to find that Yugi and his group had come over- apparently one of their group had passed by and seen the door open. Bakura had directed them to the hospital, grabbing the note- which had been untouched- and gone directly to Ryou's room.

He had been careful not to look into the bathroom. By now, the blood had probably dried, staining the white tile crimson. Until he knew his hikari was going to be all right, he couldn't bring himself to clean it up.

He hadn't visited his light either. Yugi and his group had stopped by after their visit to tell him Ryou had woken up, and that he apparently wasn't taking visitors.

''I love you.''

Those words sent an unsettling rush of emotions through him. It was as if someone had mixed disbelief, hope, amazement, confusion, longing, and happiness into one feeling. He hadn't had time to analyze his feelings, before, but now he had nothing but time.

''I wish I could have said it to your face just once.''

Bakura's crimson eyes scanned the note, even though he had memorized it. Unwilling as of yet to put a name to the emotion running through his body, he carefully refolded the note and stood.

It may have been the middle of the night, but for him the late hour meant very little.

It was time to pay a visit to a certain hospital room.

He headed out the door, slipping his shoes and jacket on.

TBC

A/N: Sorry if it wasn't very good- the next chapter is my favorite! Also sorry for any OOC or it being unrealistic, but I've not been in the hospital since birth and I've never been treated for a suicide attempt. If I've made any painfully obvious mistakes, feel free to correct me and I'll post the corrected version of this chapter with the third and last chapter next week.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Thanks for basically putting up with the randomness that is my mind and my crappy little stories…


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: Okay- I was bored, so I decided to post the last chapter of this little side-project! Hope you all enjoyed!

The Note, Chapter 3

Chocolate eyes snapped open, some unnamable jolt waking him.

Uncertain and almost afraid, he glanced around. The moon was visible from his window, though a cloud was rolling past it. The room was dark- he almost couldn't see. The room appeared to be empty but for himself.

'I'm just scaring myself.' Ryou thought, but then his eyes turned back to the window.

The window was open, curtains flapping lightly in the breeze.

They had been closed when he had gone to sleep, and he was certain none of the nurses would have opened the windows.

His eyes darted around the room, somehow knowing that- even though he had been told his room was pretty high up- someone had broken into the hospital. He had a sick feeling he knew who, too...

Just then, the cloud rolled back from the moon, revealing a pair of crimson eyes, their owner still covered in shadow at the other end of the room.

Currently, the blood-red eyes were burning with anger. Ryou instinctively tried to back up, but he was frozen by shock.

"Bakura." he said quietly as the figure stepped forward, mouth opening and closing several times as he tried to figure out what to say.

Unable to come up with words, he looked away from his yami.

"Look at me, yadonushi."

Bakura's tone allowed for no argument. Ryou's eyes lifted to meet Bakura's before dropping back down.

Weight settled on the bed, a hand coming and lifting his chin so yami and hikari were face to face.

Ryou swallowed, wishing he could bring his arms up to defend himself, if only from the look in Bakura's eyes. Bakura seemed really, really angry, and while Ryou knew his yami wouldn't hurt him physically, it was the others words that frightened him the most.

"Care to explain this?" Bakura held up a single sheet of white paper- a single sheet Ryou knew very well. Ryou opened his mouth to speak, but words died in his throat.

Bakura waited impatiently, still holding the paper up.

"S-sorry. I'm sorry, Bakura. I- I just..." Ryou stuttered, mind clouded by both what he was asked and how close Bakura currently was. It was an intoxicating proximity, and Bakura's eyes looked as though they could see right through him.

"Unless you're apologizing for this-" Bakura's hand left his jaw and gripped one of his wrists tight enough to bruise. "-don't bother."

Ryou's eyes followed the path of Bakura's hand, wincing slightly at the pain of his dark's viselike grip. He opened his mouth to speak, but again found himself unable to utter a word.

"Are you going to tell me why?" Bakura's voice was cold, making the question seem more of an order than a request. Not trusting himself to speak, Ryou shook his head.

Bakura's grip tightened, moving even closer to his hikari.

"I said, are you going to tell me why you did this?" The level of iciness in the thief's tone had increased. "It's not a request."

Ryou swallowed hard, breathing shallowly as he felt tears rise up in his eyes again.

'I can't cry- not now. I've done too much crying today- stop. Stop it!' he commanded himself, squeezing his eyes shut in an effort to keep the tears in. He couldn't recall a day he had cried more than this, except perhaps the day his mother had died, along with his beloved sister.

"Tell me."

Ryou shook his head.

"No. Please let me go."

In response, the yami's grip again tightened.

"Tell me!"

"I won't!" Ryou tried to pull away from his dark, but couldn't move. He was tied too securely for that.

"Why not?"

"Because... because..." Ryou's voice trailed off, and he transferred his gaze to his lap to avoid looking at the strong, pale hand gripping his wrist. "Why do you care?" he asked in a near whisper.

Suddenly, Bakura moved.

He simultaneously released Ryou's wrist and moved to straddle his light. He drew back his fist, punching the pillow less than an inch from Ryou's face.

The hikari's eyes jerked up, staring with shock and fright at his yami.

Crimson eyes caught and held chocolate.

"And why wouldn't I care? You're my hikari." Bakura growled. "Now explain."

Voice wavering slightly, Ryou finally complied.

"No one needed me." he stated quietly. "I didn't think anyone would care or even notice if I was gone. It seemed like such an effort just to live- I was so tired. There was nothing keeping me here- I just wanted it all to go away. It just... it really hurt. I felt like everything was just so dark, like there was nothing and no one that wanted me around anymore. Like maybe it would be better if I just disappeared-"

"Bullshit." Bakura hissed. Ryou bit his lip, looking back down as the crimson gaze became too much to withstand.

Bakura's other hand- the one that had held the note aloft all through the conversation- jerked his chin back up.

"Did you honestly believe I wouldn't notice? Did you think that the Ra-damned Pharaoh and his little band of misfits wouldn't notice?! For who would it be better if you fucking disappeared?!"

"N-no... I just didn't think it would matter..." Ryou stammered, suddenly feeling extremely guilty for what he had done. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, I'm sorry! I never meant- I didn't want- I'm sorry..."

"I don't want to hear your apologies. You are NEVER to do this again, do you understand?" Bakura commanded. Ryou nodded. His yami straightened, then folded one arm under the other to hold up the note. "You are also to explain this."

Ryou shook his head vehemently.

"I can't."

"You can't? Or... won't?" Bakura's voice was low and dark, tone clear he would not be denied an answer in either case.

"Won't." Ryou whispered. He swallowed nervously. "The note should explain itself. Please don't ask me about it."

"I wanted to hear it from you, but I suppose simple yes or no questions shouldn't be too difficult for you to answer." Bakura growled lowly. "First of all, did you really believe I hated you?" The yami's tone was more accusing and defensive than questioning.

Slowly, Ryou nodded, flinching slightly from some imagined strike.

"Did you mean everything you put into the note?" Bakura's tone had softened somewhat, but it was still nowhere near friendly.

Ryou looked away. He had hoped the conversation wouldn't have come to this so quickly- he just wasn't ready to discuss his real feelings after keeping them locked up inside his heart for so long. He shook his head, knowing it would be taken as refusal to speak rather than a 'no'.

"If you won't answer that, then I'll simplify it for you. Did you mean it when you said you loved me?"

Ryou squeezed his eyes shut, pressing himself as far away from his dark as he could get.

"Well?"

"So what if I did?" Ryou murmured quietly. "What does it matter now? You probably hate me even more now, and I-"

Ryou cut himself off. He was just making himself more upset. He allowed Bakura to turn his head so they were once again face to face, keeping his features carefully neutral.

"Say it." Bakura ordered. The unexpected command broke through the thin mask of neutrality protecting Ryou, and his confusion showed clearly on his face.

"What?" he asked, flabbergasted.

"Say it. It was you who wanted to tell me to my face at least once, wasn't it?" Bakura's lips had stretched into an odd half smile, smugness and... some other emotion radiating from his being.

Ryou shook his head.

"No." He couldn't say it- the words wouldn't pass his lips. He was so afraid- he knew Bakura already knew of his feelings, but why did they have to be lorded over him like this? What if Bakura only wanted him to confess vocally so he could tear him down- him and the fragile thread holding his sanity in place?

Bakura leaned forward, practically nose to nose with his light. Ryou gasped, eyes widening with shock.

"B-Bakura...?" he stuttered. Bakura's eyes stared directly into his own, the crimson orbs suddenly so expressive.

"Say it." the yami murmured, coaxing Ryou to speak. As Bakura spoke, his lips nearly brushed those of his light, they were so close.

"I... I..." Ryou choked up, biting his lip. He closed his eyes in defeat. "... I love you. I really do."

"That's good, hikari- very good."

Chocolate orbs snapped open in shock as he felt two hungry lips crash down on his own, a soft tongue pressing past his lips. He could feel one hand tangle in his hair, holding him still as Bakura's talented tongue explored Ryou's mouth, taking a long, slow sample of the hikari's taste.

Ryou could feel Bakura's body press closer to his own, and the small movement brought him out of his shock.

His eyes closed again and he pushed his body up, returning the kiss with equal passion, if not equal skill.

By the time they broke apart for air, both were panting. Chocolate stared up into crimson with a look of shock and wonder, amazed at all the emotions on display in those usually guarded blood-red orbs.

"I love you too, Ryou. Is that enough of a reason to keep on living?" Bakura asked simply. Ryou nodded, tears of joy forming in his eyes as he tried to lift his arms to wrap around his dark.

His arms didn't move, bound as they were.

Bakura turned his gaze to the bindings, annoyed. He quickly undid both, settling on the bed by Ryou's side as the hikari embraced him.

Ryou buried his face in Bakura's chest, pulling him close as if he was afraid Bakura would disappear. The yami's arms wrapped around Ryou, one hand at the small of his light's back, the other stroking through soft waves of hair.

"Never do that again." Bakura commanded again. Ryou didn't need to ask to know what Bakura meant.

"I won't." he promised, though a part of him knew it wouldn't be so easy. He clutched tighter to his yami. "Just don't leave me. Please?" He may have been begging, but he needed his dark with him.

"I won't leave you. You're mine." Bakura pulled back from the embrace to punctuate his words with a kiss. Ryou returned the passionate joining of lips with just as much emotion as his yami, though this kiss was more comforting, more of a confirmation than the hungry meeting of lips earlier.

Slowly, Bakura lay them both down, adjusting their position so Ryou was partially on top of him. Ryou's head rested against his chest, one arm curled on top of him while the other lay between their bodies. Ryou's legs were curled up slightly, one placed shyly on top of one of his own. As for Bakura, he had one arm around Ryou's body, holding the teen close. The other arm was bent behind his head, adding more cushion to the pillow he was using.

"Goodnight, Bakura." Ryou whispered, chocolate eyes closing sleepily.

"Goodnight, Ryou."

Not long after, both teen and centuries old spirit fell asleep, content in each others arms.

END 

A/N: Okay- not gonna waste time on a long A/N, but I hope that wasn't too horrible!


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